The older I get…” crooned Alan Jackson, capturing the hearts of millions around the world. His message was clear: You only get a minute — better live while you’re in it.
Today we call that feeling Jomo a rather unusual form of joy that involves positive feelings in the absence of an event or experience rather than the presence of one. It can be considered the opposite of Fomo (fear of missing out), a word that was coined in 2004, gained popularity in 2010 and made it to the Oxford dictionary in 2013.
(This article appeared in Khaleej Times on Apr 4, 2025)
For a quick comparison, Fomo involves experiencing anxiety because of a feeling that ‘other people are having more fun, living a better life or having better experiences than you are’, while Jomo claims that having none of the former adds positivity in one’s life and outlook.
Fomo isn’t about being obsessed with or addicted to technology and social media. It is rooted in our innate tendency to compare ourselves to others as we seek to better understand who we are and our place in the world. The acronym Jomo was coined by writer and tech entrepreneur Anil Dash, referring to the joy of missing out.
In the UAE, many are redefining happiness by embracing the joy of missing out. From quiet evenings to intentional solitude, here’s how this social shift is taking hold.
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Jomo vs Fomo
UAE-based PR Professional Ananda Shakespeare talks about how she made the switch from Fomo to Jomo and why she is reaping rich rewards from this.
“Until 2019, it was all about fear of missing out. Then I fractured my ankle, was housebound and re-discovered my love of books, films, working from home and inviting friends’ round. I was burnt out working two jobs and fracturing my ankle was the best thing that could have happened,” she says. “My perspective on life changed. After having to decline so many social and work invitations, I began to enjoy getting more done and re-igniting my love for the arts from home. It really did lift some pressure off my shoulders too.”
According to her, we can outgrow the habits and pressures that once fuelled Fomo. “I’m far pickier about what events I go to, preferring to spend more time at home reading, cooking and putting myself first. Perhaps it’s also an age thing, but I don’t go out in the evenings like I used to, and I don’t feel like I’m missing out on the opening of every new restaurant etc. The pandemic compounded all of this for me.”
Ananda says she is no more the extrovert but calls herself an ambivert. “The pandemic has changed my personality, but also perhaps it’s about growing older too. Once you experience Jomo there is no going back.”
Focusing on long-term joy
For some, Jomo isn’t just about skipping events—it’s about realigning priorities and finding lasting fulfilment. “In a digital age there always seems to be a party somewhere, always a deal to be made, always a destination to go to. The belief that what’s yours is yours (maktoub) puts everything in perspective,” says Dubai-based real estate professional Eyal Ashur.
The joy of missing out came into Eyal’s life when he realised he had been chasing instant gratitude rather than long term happiness. He says during his Fomo years he enjoyed very little — till he let go of the fear. “Jomo, to me, means focus. Fewer distractions allow me to concentrate on what truly matters—like myself,” says Eyal. “Age plays a big role in this. As we grow older, we tend to become wiser, calmer, and more intentional in our decisions. Prioritising becomes second nature.” The good news? There’s a new wave of enlightened young people who aren’t caught up in the noise and are choosing to pursue more meaningful paths.
“As per the Paradox of Choice by Dr Barry Schwarz, the more choices you, have the higher the opportunity cost. I believe this is applicable here as well. I have found that my career has skyrocketed since Jomo came into my life, as I was more dedicated than others around me, while still spending quality time with loved ones; ditching the casual nights out,” adds Eyal.
To this, Rashmi Vijayan, a Dubai-based social counsellor, adds, “For me, Jomo means giving myself permission to walk against the current—and actually enjoy it. We need to understand that there will always be something we ‘miss out’ on, but whether we attach fear or joy to that absence is entirely up to us. Personally, I’m learning to choose joy.”
Speaking on whether it is possible to get relief from taking a break from things that once triggered Fomo, Rashmi says that we feel like we are ‘missing out’ when the event or situation holds value in our life. “I was once asked by my Youth Leader at church to take a break from volunteering on Sundays (I was in grieving), but the forced break immediately triggered my stress response, and the first week I was jolted with Fomo. With time, I had processed my grief but was on mandated rest. Now, I look forward to my free Sundays and have begun to see this time as a way to engage with my son, or sit in the quietness of my home,” she adds. “A consistent adjustment of expectations from life and digging deep on the meaning and purpose of our existence, will help us combat Fomo and embrace Jomo.”
Validation becomes irrelevant
For Dubai-based author Sangeetha Vallat, Jomo is the joy of doing what she loves and not driven by the need for instant gratification. “It is an unparalleled feeling. And as I age, things that once seemed vital faded into the background. Now, there’s a natural inclination to step back, evaluate life from a distance, and appreciate what matters. Validation becomes irrelevant.”
Today she finds comfort in small, everyday joys. “The transformation has been profound. As I incorporated Jomo into my life, issues that once triggered my temper no longer seemed significant.”
She admits that while she enjoys spending time with friends, and being left out does sadden her sometimes, she loves being part of gatherings where she can be herself. “I have come to covet the joy of opting out. I’m not afraid to skip events; there is no Fomo whatsoever.”
Jomo happens when one is comfortable in taking a step back, embracing solitude, and realising that their worth is not determined by how they accomplish or how many events they attend. “It’s about tuning out the noise and finding peace with where you are in life,” says Sangeetha.
Her advice to everyone out there feeling pressured to keep up, prove something, or chase success at the cost of their happiness is to take a step back. “Try imbibing Jomo. You might just find that the joy of missing out is the most freeing thing you can do for yourself.”
Quality over quantity
Asha Sherwood, CEO and founder of Abu Dhabi Review, said Jomo naturally comes with age, as you begin to realise that quality matters far more than quantity. “When I was younger, Fomo was more real because there were fewer opportunities available. Today, particularly here in the UAE, the younger generation is spoilt for choice, with everything on their fingertips. Adding to this the constant chatter among the numerous communication platforms, they are learning to pick and choose at a younger age, meaning they are finding a balance between engaging with the world and enjoying some much-needed downtime.”
However, Jomo isn’t necessarily an “old person’s” concept—it’s more about a shift in perspective that comes when you begin to truly value your time and energy, regardless of age. “It’s admirable that the younger generation is beginning to think this way, though what that means for the future remains to be seen.”
She recalls her early media career days when not being invited to major music award ceremonies would trigger intense Fomo. “That changed during the Covid period. Even now, if there’s something I genuinely want to attend but can’t, a wave of Fomo might still hit—but I’ve come to see it differently. Sometimes, missing out is just the universe’s way of telling you it wasn’t meant for you.”
However, Asha noticed a positive shift in her life when she embraced Jomo. “One of the biggest changes has been the ability to filter out toxic influences and unnecessary pressure. As a media person, there is always an unspoken expectation to be involved in every event, but I’ve learnt to say “no, thanks” when something doesn’t align with my values, which has brought me a huge sense of relief and clarity,” says Asha. “I have come to realise that sometimes you need to forgo a story to have a story of your own. Missing out shouldn’t always be considered a loss, it can be a powerful way to maintain your peace of mind and ensure that every “yes” you give is truly meaningful.”
Gen-Z paving the way for Jomo
Twenty-six-year-old Swaraj, a data scientist based in Dubai, says he has never been drawn to the colourful side of life, as nights-out were never his ‘thing.’ “I know coming from a Gen-Z perspective, this sounds dull, but because of this I have never feared missing out on anything. I’ve never felt a need to be part of those social circles. Instead, I’ve grown comfortable spending time alone and enjoy solo trips without the need for constant social validation.”
Swaraj , in fact, leans towards Jomo. “While Fomo can be a natural feeling, especially when it involves people you deeply care about, I don’t believe in forcing myself into experiences that don’t align with my interests,” he adds. “Thereby, I’ve embraced the joy of missing out—choosing activities that truly fulfill me rather than just participating for the sake of it.”
However, Swaraj admits that during his time living in France, Fomo did take a toll on his mental health—especially during festivals and important moments when friends and family gathered, and he couldn’t be there. “I felt like I was missing out on shared memories,” he says. “But over time, I accepted that I can’t be everywhere and began focusing on making the most of where I am.”
Now, he says, Fomo is no longer something he has to consciously fight—it’s something he’s naturally outgrown. “I’d rather spend my time doing things I genuinely enjoy, like reading, going on long walks, discovering new restaurants, or traveling solo to offbeat places. I’ve realised that forcing myself into experiences I don’t enjoy just to ‘not miss out’ actually feels worse than missing them altogether. If I have to choose between an event that doesn’t excite me and a quiet evening doing something I love, I’ll always pick the latter.”
He acknowledges the pressure to be part of a group, especially in today’s social media-driven world where people constantly share their outings and experiences. “But I don’t see the point of being in a group just for the sake of belonging. I value meaningful connections over large social circles. Honestly, I’d take a books-and-coffee crawl over flashy lights and loud music any day.”
