It might be underrated but there is a quiet power in platonic relationships
A deep and abiding connection that provides comfort, platonic love is often misunderstood to mean an absence of romantic desire. But unlike romantic relationships, platonic love between friends offers an unencumbered bond built on mutual respect, trust, and shared history.
Named after philosopher Plato’s writings on different types of love, the term platonic was initially used to mock relationships that lacked physical intimacy, but eventually that connotation faded away, leaving us with today’s notion of close friendships.
Speaking of her decades-long platonic relationships, Sasha Jerg, a UAE-based resident and teacher, says she has had the same group of male friends since she was five. “Romantic love is fraught with expectations and complexities, but our relationships have weathered ups and downs, and yet has remained strong in a way that many romantic relationships might envy.”
“Remember Phoebe and Joey in the sitcom Friends? Yes, that is the kind of relationship we have and hope to continue – devoid of romantic drama, pure and meaningful,” she says. “It sounds quirky, but this relationship is based on trust and being oneself.”
She gives another example of the movie When Harry Met Sally, where Harry and Sally’s relationship defies the traditional boundaries of friendship and romance, which according to her is a testament to the power of platonic love. It proves that men and women can be friends.
Dr Thalia Wheatley, professor in the Department of Psychological and Brain Sciences at Dartmouth College, says that friendship is something we need to understand. “While there is a preoccupation with romantic relationships, many of our close relationships are with friends,” she said.
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Platonic love increases creativity
Therapeutic Life Coach and Founder and CEO of One Life Coaching ME Anne Jackson says that when two individuals share a platonic bond, they often engage in meaningful conversations that stimulate intellectual growth and inspire creative thinking. “This exchange of ideas and perspectives can lead to a greater understanding of oneself and the world, fostering a sense of self-awareness and personal growth.”
“This emotional security allows people to explore their thoughts and feelings more openly, leading to increased self-awareness and emotional intelligence. The trust and mutual respect inherent in a platonic relationship can also boost self-esteem and confidence, as individuals feel valued and appreciated for who they are.”
Highlighting the difference between platonic and romantic love, Anne explains how romantic love typically includes physical attraction and a level of emotional intensity that is not present in platonic relationships.
“Romantic partners often seek to build a life together, sharing responsibilities and creating a future as a couple but while platonic partners may not share the same level of commitment or life goals as romantic couples, their relationship is equally meaningful and fulfilling in its own right.”
She says there is a growing recognition today of platonic relationships for their value and uniqueness. “Some misconceptions and stereotypes still exist, and some find it hard to understand how a deep and affectionate bond can exist without romantic or physical elements but despite these challenges, the acceptance of platonic love is growing as more people recognise its importance in fostering emotional health and personal development.”
Satisfies psychological needs for autonomy
Social exchange theory suggests that platonic relationships thrive because they provide emotional intimacy and social support at little cost, as there’s no expectation of physical attraction, says Dr Cakil Agnew, Associate Professor of Psychology at Heriot-Watt University Dubai. “According to self-disclosure theory, the act of sharing personal thoughts and feelings in these relationships strengthens emotional bonds and enhances trust.”
From the perspective of Self-Determination Theory (SDT), platonic love satisfies fundamental psychological needs for autonomy, competence, and relatedness, she explains. “This environment of mutual respect and support not only promotes personal growth and emotional well-being but also nurtures a sense of purpose and identity, which are key to fostering both creativity and deeper self-awareness.”
“Originating from the teachings of Plato, platonic love emphasises intellectual bonding and shared values rather than physical intimacy. Over time, this concept became more widely recognised, particularly during the Renaissance, and is now understood as a transformative bond that transcends romantic or physical desire, forming powerful connections that enrich both individuals’ lives.”
Dr Cakil says that today, platonic relationships are often misunderstood or undervalued. “Media frequently portrays these relationships in terms of a ‘will they, won’t they’ dynamic, implying that attraction inevitably follows when two people form a close bond.”
“A study by Weger, Cole, and Akbulut (2019) found that platonic friends offered more emotional and instrumental support, and included each other in their social networks more frequently.”
No need for grand gestures
Dubai-based architect turned entrepreneur and founder of Pinboard Media, Ritika Kothari says that platonic relationships have been a cornerstone in her life. “They have shaped me in ways that are both profound and subtle,” she admits. “I’ve had two deeply meaningful friendships. When I moved from Mumbai to Dubai, my dog refused to stay with anyone else but this friend. He cared for my dog for almost three months while I navigated setting up a new life.” 
“But the real weight of these relationships became clear during my battle with cancer. While my family stood by me, there were moments when I needed someone outside that circle,” she recalls. “My friend was there for me, quietly accompanying me to endless follow-up appointments, never asking how I was feeling, never trying to fix things—he just showed up. His silent presence was a reminder that not every kind of love is loud or needs grand gestures.”
Ritika says there are those rare instances when an “attraction” is formed despite being in a committed relationship. “When that happens, it is time to step back. But two years later when he met with an accident, I rushed back to him without hesitation because that’s what platonic love is: being there, no matter what.”
“As a married woman, I’m incredibly grateful that my husband not only accepts but also encourages my friendships. There’s never been a moment where I felt like I was ‘cheating’ because our relationship is rooted in mutual trust, understanding, and open communication.”
Forming meaningful connections
Platonic love can be incredibly beneficial because it frees us from the expectations of physical intimacy, says Seetha Menon. “This allows us to focus on other meaningful forms of connection, such as emotional and intellectual intimacy. For example, in one of my long-term platonic relationships, I feel more comfortable expressing emotional vulnerability, something that for me is often more challenging in non-platonic relationships.
“Yes, to some extent, platonic love is different. While both can be beautiful, platonic relationships—whether friendships or more intimate connections—can be even more fulfilling because they lack the expectation of physical intimacy.”
“In my opinion, every relationship is unique, with its own foundation. Platonic relationships come in many different forms, so it’s difficult to define a single, universal core for all of them. However, there are boundaries in a platonic relationship—by definition, it is the absence of physical intimacy.”
Like Seetha, Dianne, a Slovenian expat in Dubai, said a relationship she formed with a group member during her trek to the Everest Base camp in 2022 reiterated her faith in herself. “I was having a tough time battling altitude sickness and wanted to give up,” she recalls. “My guide was considering evacuating me – but this British teammate stepped in and encouraged me to go for it. His presence worked like magic – and I went from being a scared woman to a confident one and made it to the base camp. Though we live in different countries, we are always there for each other. We became friends when I was at my worst, so anything now is an improvement,” Dianne adds.
Similarly, Giovanni Cortese, head chef at Ristorante Loren, Dubai admits that having a platonic relationship has made him more aware of his own creativity and helped him see the world through a more poetic lens. “I think it is the best kind of relationship there is,” he says. “I am skeptical about how long it will last — only time will tell.”
